Thought for the Day:

It was one of those ordinary days. I was checking out at the supermarket. My son was helping me bag the groceries. He was having some trouble separating the plastic bags on the hook and the young man checking me out said he had been on the job 3 days and just got the hang of it.  I had noted how rapidly he totaled my order and I asked if he had been transferred from another store. He said no, that this was his first time as a checker.   Since he looked young enough to be my grandson I immediately went into “recognition mode” Wow, you are one quick learner.  Please tell your parents that a customer commented on what a great job you’re doing. They must be very proud of you.  He just smiled.

As we were leaving my son said that the store likely had a rigorous training program.  His comment piqued my curiosity and I was darn well gonna find out. I stopped and asked another employee how long it took to train new people for the checkout counter.  She looked at me cautiously and asked me why I wanted to know. I told her how impressed I was with the efficiency and accuracy of a brand new employee. She smiled and said:  I was sure you were going to complain because the truth is they have very little training — one day and they’re thrown to the wolves. She asked me to point out the employee because she wanted to pass on my comment to his supervisor.

Maybe it wasn’t such an ordinary day after all.  I felt a warm glow. Because even though it was many, many moons ago, I have clear recall of what it was like to be young and unsure at a new job, actually, unsure about almost everything.  I also remembered what sincere praise did to boost my confidence.  I also realized that it’s likely management hears many more negatives than positives. Wouldn’t it be great if we took some time to balance it out a little?  Just sayin’

As always, I welcome your comments.

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It was a beautiful day, one of those days when the last thing we wanted to do was work on the “stuff” all around us. So we did the sensible thing; we left it all behind and headed for the beach.

I soaked up the sun, the blue sky, the glorious sounds of the waves — the “stuff “completely out of mind.  I took in the whole scene: Parents watching their children closely so that they didn’t go too far, Children building sand castles, or digging deep holes and waiting excitedly for the waves to fill them, or giggling as they covered their bodies with sand. Dads swinging little kids high over the waves. Young, lovely girls getting that fabulous tan that they knew would make them look even more stunning, while older, wiser folks sat under umbrellas. What a day. I looked around and except for a few cell phones and some mighty skimpy bathing suits, the scene could easily have been forty years ago.

I don’t know most of the abbreviations used to tweet. I don’t have a smart phone, just a slightly intelligent one; I still like getting messages through a human voice.  I’m “workin’’ on not being left too far behind, but I take enormous comfort in those things that will never change — like the beach scene

And no matter what the technical advances, no matter what the dramatic differences between the “generations”, I hope that other things will never become extinct:  little courtesies, someone who is truly listening, the human touch, a hand-written note, a look that communicates understanding or compassion — and patience, glorious patience.

OK, I’ll get off my soapbox.  As always, dear readers, I welcome your comments.
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Plus One Powerful Lesson

Thought for the day: Our underlying motive determines the value of what we do.

I was looking at boxed tangerines at the supermarket when I accidently tipped the box over and they all tumbled out. I quickly put them back in the box and replaced the net that held them in. No harm done.  After getting all I came in for, I was about to check out when I noticed that one tangerine had fallen into the open pouch on the side of my purse. I smiled, my first thought: Oh boy, a freebee snack.

 Then the old conscience checked in and I returned the tangerine to the young lady at the checkout counter with a brief explanation. She took it and went on to complete checking out my order.  Her body language told me she couldn’t care less. I was bugged. No comment about honesty, no smile of appreciation, no acknowledgment of any kind!  Then it hit me. Holy cow, I want recognition for simply doing a small right thing.  How sad is that?  Ouch — lesson learned.
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As always, I welcome your comments

Thought for the Day:

 She was my best buddy, cheering for me in the great times and supporting me unconditionally in the rotten times. In her later years she was blind and had difficulty walking, but she was still the same loving, giving Aunt Julie.  Although I sometimes find it difficult to find the right words when under emotional stress, I knew what I wanted to say at Aunt Julie’s funeral.

As a child and through my entire life, she gave me the most splendid of gifts. She made me feel unique, special, valued. She listened to me attentively.  I always felt that whatever I had to say mattered — no matter how mundane the subject. Early on, I realized that gift wasn’t exclusively mine.  Everyone whose life Aunt Julie touched – even if for a short time, received it.  It was simply who she was. I wonder now if she ever realized the magnitude of that gift.

I get self-absorbed and caught up in every day “stuff”, so I often forget the lesson Aunt Julie taught me. When we treat others in a way that lets them know they matter – it can have a profound positive influence on their lives.  That’s true of all those we come in contact with, in both our personal and professional lives.  Imagine the power of many – giving Aunt Julie’s gift to many.  Let’s start an epidemic.

As always, I love hearing for you. Have you been blessed with an Aunt Julie?
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Thought for the Day:

We gain wisdom in a multitude of ways: by listening, observing, noting, experiencing, and perhaps most of all, if we are open to it, we gain wisdom from our glorious mistakes.  I have certainly learned from mine. But from time to time, I find myself reliving the past and feeling guilty about things I cannot change. So with the coming of spring, I have written a “Message to Self”

Dear Self,

I forgive you for unthinking words spoken, foolish actions taken, opportunities missed, things left unsaid, and for often not living up to your own standards. (And were they really yours or someone else’s?) So if you find you are “shoulding” on yourself – cut it out! It’s a big waste of time.

Love,

Me

Ah, felt good to get rid of that baggage. Now on to checking out the daffodils, forsythia, budding leaves, etc. Join me.

As always, dear readers I appreciate your thoughts or comments.

Wholesome, chubby, pleasingly plump – no more euphemisms – I’m f-a-t. And I plan to stop accepting what is – and do something about it.   What I learned about being successful in the sales profession can help me do just that. Those who make it in any worthwhile endeavor have 5 things in common:

They believe in the value of what they are doing This one’s a no-brainer. Anyone who resides on the planet Earth knows that losing excess weight is a good thing, a very good thing — for a multitude of reasons.

They are motivated — and the more emotional the reason – the better. If you have watched the reality show that helps obese people lose a tremendous amount of weight you have no doubt seen grown men sob because they want to live to walk young daughters down the aisle. Staying around for several more years has an emotional ring for me too.  Plus announcing my plans in a public forum – yep, that’s motivating.

They see the end result before the fact. They can see, feel, taste success – and it’s powerfully sustaining. Ah yes, visualizing, as a done deal:  having more energy, feeling healthy, oozing confidence, slipping into jeans – now that’s sustaining!

They believe they can do it Anything we accomplish that’s a stretch outside our comfort zone begins when that tiny voice in our heads whispers: I think I can do this. And a caring mentor, nurturing coach, or supportive spouse helps that voice become loud and strong.

They are disciplined Successful people don’t like to do the same things unsuccessful people don’t like to do; they just never lose sight of the goal. Discipline is essential when it comes to making any significant change. And those things that cause the most discomfort initially are the very things that move us forward. (I renewed my membership at the gym.  If I’m not there at least 5 days a week I will picture myself flushing dollar bills down the john.)

My personal plan: I’m chucking the perfection goal created by the media — those youthful, skinny, enhanced, airbrushed images are not reality. I’m chucking that filthy four letter word diet. A friend once said that the only way the many diet books I accumulated would work is if I balanced them all on my head and walked around.

I’m replacing dieting with:  making healthy choices, taking smaller potions, eating at regular intervals. Speaking of healthy choices, kudos to my holistic health coach, Paula Antonini (paula.antonini@gmail.com) This knowledgeable, caring, patient lady taught me what, how, and when to eat for optimal health — along with helping me identify my personal pitfalls.

One other comment regarding reaching any goal: It’s okay to slip and fall.  It only spells failure if we don’t get up.

As always, dear readers, I welcome your thoughts and opinions — a few positive vibes would also be appreciated.
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Thought for the Day:

I froze. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. I lost my train of thought and wasn’t sure how to respond.  The occasion – my monthly book club get- together – hardly the setting for such drama. After all, we have been meeting for ten years – and we are friends. So what happened?

It was my turn to select a book for the following meeting. I was prepared. I passed out a sheet with 4 suggested books along with a review of each.  Before I could open my mouth one group member saw my first suggestion and went ballistic.  She said she would not read the book — that she had seen the movie and walked out. She went on to say that she found it disgusting  and that although those things happened she didn’t have to subject herself to them. Silence –embarrassing for me and the others. (Ironically, it was my favorite of the 4 and I had hoped to sell my friends on choosing it.) I mumbled something about waking at 1:00 AM and reading the dastardly culprit through the night. Then I stumbled through a brief explanation of my other choices.

In the calm of the next day I realized I could simply have made light of the comments and said something like “I guess you won’t be voting for this one.” We would have laughed and moved on. Or I could easily have said something like “Those of you who can stomach a bit of ‘graphic gore’ may love reading this mystery on your own.” But I didn’t choose either response. WHY?  I equated what was said about a book as a judgment of me – and my precious ego had been bruised. How ridiculous.

This is not the first time I have been caught in this trap – both in my personal and professional life.  My solution the next time is to pause and take a breath (maybe two), to process what was said, by whom, in what setting — and  then respond appropriately. P P R Will it help? I don’t know, but I’m hell-bent on working at it.

As always, dear readers, I appreciate hearing your thoughts and opinions.
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How sad to regret what isn’t — and miss out on the joy of what is.

She’s old and it shows. She’s completely deaf and her eyesight is failing.  She has few teeth and chewing is a chore. She hesitates before climbing even a few steps — and dozes most of the day. She’s our 16 year old long haired miniature Dachshund. Her name is Liebchen (little dear.)

But regarding aging, Liebby has it right.

She appreciates life’s little pleasures She still loves her treats and savors every bite. (We now buy only soft ones.) A warm fire in the fireplace — and she’s there, curled up in her cozy bed.

She connects with nature She soaks up the sun, digs in the sand, and rolls playfully in the grass.

She has a sense of adventure. Show her the car keys and for a brief moment she’s a puppy again: — sweeping our floor with her long tail. She knows it means a trip to the park and she’s ready!  I smile when she sticks that tiny head out the window of the SUV – sniffing the various smells for all she’s worth. What a sight.

She appreciates the human touch Scratch her anywhere — and she’s yours. She nestles next to us in bed. And if we move – Liebby moves. And I never curl up with just a book or a cup of coffee.  It’s a book/coffee and Liebby.

I take a lesson from you, my good buddy. I too cannot do many of the things I did in my youth — the things I took for granted in the past. But I’m gonna savor all the good stuff still in my life– and be grateful.

As always, dear readers, I appreciate your thoughts.

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Our World, Our Choice.

I recently read that we are strongly influenced by the five people we associate with most. It got my attention. I made a mental list.  The statement also triggered the memory of what a respected mentor said about negative people in our lives:  Love them, bless them, leave them. That might not be so easy when, for whatever reason, we simply can’t walk away. And the Pollyanna part of me wanted to believe that a positive person can pull up a negative person. Life has taught me otherwise. I have come to believe it is often just the opposite.

Okay, I have posed a problem. What’s the solution?  I don’t pretend to be an expert, but I have learned from my experiences, my mistakes, and from searching for answers and direction all my life.  First, as you think about your five, how many fit the following description?

• Just connecting with them brings you up.
• Your conversation often includes laughter.
• They respect you and appreciate you.
• They accept you as you are – warts and all.
• They are joyful for your successes and sad when you fail.
• They often guide you, gently, to become better than you are

No question, you are rich when blessed with friends, work associates, or relatives like that. But how do you handle those who are just the opposite — those who bring you down or demoralize you?  Some thought-starters:

• Confront tactfully, regarding your needs. Marsha Sinitar, a noted psychologist, taught me to counter by saying: I have put myself on a good news diet.
• Change the subject – tactfully and rapidly.
• Minimize contact whenever feasible.
• Accept that the only behavior you can control is your own. (The missionary part of us must know that we can’t save people from themselves.)
• If it is someone close in your life, then it may be time for a serious heart to heart or additional help.

A loaded question – Do the five people closest to you see you as a positive influence in their lives?

This has been one of my more serious posts dear readers. But as always, my intention is to share what I think and feel and to welcome hearing your opinions, experiences, and thoughts. My wish, as we enter this fall season – may you be blessed with even more than five positive people in your life.

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Stay with me eternally.

Excite my soul, laugh and leap

And in my heart I will keep

Your sweet joy…”

Author Unknown

When’s  the last time you:

• Threw a ball against the wall
• Played jacks
• Jumped rope
• Rode a bike or scooter
• Sat on a playground swing and “pumped” your heart out
• Jumped in a mud puddle
• Played jacks
• Slid down a sliding board
• Played hopscotch
• Danced around the room , singing a song you loved as a teenager
• Climbed a tree
• Ate a sandwich in the park

If you are feeling overwhelmed, over-worked, unappreciated, — or just plain burned out, perhaps it’s time to ignore everything electronic that consumes your day and have someone else take over at home.  Escape and be a child again. Choose five of the above or others you remember fondly from your childhood – and play hooky for just a day.  You may be surprised just how gloriously “renewing” this escape will be. And you know what? Those who need you every minute of the day will somehow survive, and believe it or not — the world will not come to an end.

As always, dear readers, I welcome your comments
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